how to stop thinking about my girlfriend’s past

Why do I obsess over my girlfriend’s past?

If you’re struggling with constant—or obsessive—thoughts, constant questions, constant unease with regard to your girlfriend’s past, you may be dealing with retroactive jealousy OCD.

Why can’t I get over my girlfriends past?

If you’re struggling with her past, that’s probably got quite a lot to do with a lack of self-confidence on your part. Maybe you don’t feel like you deserve her or her love. Maybe you’re worried that you don’t measure up to guys from her past. Maybe her past makes you feel inadequate.

How do I stop obsessing over my partner’s past?

Dealing with Jealousy About Your Partner’s PastAccept it.Swap places.Don’t snoop.Talk it out.Accept their answers.Pinpoint the issue.Know your worth.Reframe things.More items…

Why am I so bothered about my girlfriend’s past?

Another cause of jealousy or envy when thinking of your partner’s past lovers can be fear. … Overall, jealousy is a feeling that will come and go throughout relationships. Fear of losing someone we love coupled with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem can exacerbate normal feelings.

Does retroactive jealousy ruin relationships?

But being generally envious (or bitter) about your partner’s past for no clear reason can ruin your relationship before it even has a chance to blossom. Working through retroactive jealousy can help you avoid what will often lead to a vicious cycle that will damage your own relationship.

Should you care about your girlfriend’s past?

It’s completely normal to care about someone’s past when in a relationship. It’s something like a moral credit check. If your past had numerous cheating occasions then it would wise for the other person interested in you to address this and decide if you’re worth it. The same goes for your good actions.

Do past relationships matter?

It’s a piece of advice you probably hear a lot, yet have a hard time actually following. But moving on from the past is especially important when you’re starting a new relationship. … “It is very important to remember, that each new relationship should be given a new start,” Dr.

Does her past matter?

Past sexual partners are no guarantee of anything in a relationship. … But if you were brought up to think sex is something that is entirely between consenting adults, and fun, and the number of partners isn’t really anything other than a history, then her past would carry little potency.

What should you not forgive in a relationship?

Constant Lying This can tie into cheating, but also just lying in general. If your partner keeps lying to you, he or she can’t be trusted, and it’s a level of disrespect and shadiness that might not be forgiven in a relationship, says Ziegler.6 Oct 2017

Is there a cure for retroactive jealousy?

To overcome retroactive jealousy, reframe the situation, break harmful behaviors, communicate, and practice empathy with your partner. Try journaling with Jour to reframe negative intrusive thoughts, build healthy self esteem, and release the fears you’re experiencing. Your mind will thank you!

How long does retroactive jealousy last?

But usually, these feelings of relationship-oriented jealousy go away within a few days. They seldom cause harm to ourselves or our partner. Retroactive jealousy is a psychological condition where we have a highly-unhealthy interest in our partner’s sexual and romantic life prior to their relationship with us.

How much should you know about your partner’s past?

Although it’s probably best to skip the intricate details (you don’t want to know that much), you should have a good sense of your partner’s sexual history and know things like whether or not they have ever had an STD or got someone pregnant (or had a pregnancy).

Can a man tell if a woman has been with someone else?

Your boyfriend could even recognize that you have been with another man. When you’re having sex with someone, it’s very easy to leave physical evidence behind, so to speak. Even if you clean up thoroughly, your boyfriend might catch subtle hints that you have been with someone else.

Can my boyfriend feel if I slept with someone else?

Nobody can tell if a person has slept with someone else once the evidence has been washed away. The only way a person might be able to tell if their partner has slept with somebody else is if their partner’s overwhelming guilt gives them away.

How do I know if my girlfriend has slept with someone else?

Is She Cheating? 10 Signs Your Girlfriend Just Slept With SomeoneShe’s Constantly On Her Phone Once She Gets Home. … She’s Not In The Mood For Sex. … She’s Always Busy. … Shopping Sprees. … She Comes Home And Immediately Showers And Changes. … She’s Concerned With Your Whereabouts. … She’s Unhappy When She Gets Home.More items…

How can I forget my wifes past?

#1) Stop talking to your wife about her past.#2) Think hard about your values—and make a decision, one way or the other.#3) Rely on your own internal compass when it comes to your wife’s past.#4) Look at the woman your wife is now, compared to the woman she was in her past.#5) Find, and follow, a plan for healing.

How do I stop thinking about my girlfriend?

Make time for yourself apart from your partner. Take at least one day a week to do something that’s just for you. Remember that you’re not just a person in a relationship; you have a whole identity apart from that. Spend time doing your favorite hobbies like reading, writing, running, or dancing.

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